JIM JUSTIN MUSEUM OF HUMOR

Political Humor Exhibit

A Collection of Political Jokes, Funny Stories and Other Humorous Items

     Politicians - self obsessed, egotitiscal, multifaced ( rather than faceted ), disingenuous and, if successful, inclined to tell others what to do - have been the butts of a great many jokes, particularly from those of the other party. The nasty nature of the profession and the partisan origin of the jests make Political Humor plain nasty and often completely hilarious and even sometimes indicative of public opinion.


Fried Carpet Bagger

A Kentucky Fried Chicken location in New York has a special on what they

are calling the "Bucket of Hillary" --- two small breasts, two large thighs,

and a bunch of left wings.


Slick Willie Seuss

"President Clinton's Testimony" by Dr. Seuss

I did not do it in a car.

I did not do it in a bar.

I did not do it in the dark.

I did not do it in the park.

I did not do it on a date.

I did not ever fornicate.

I did not do it at a dance.

I did not do it in her pants.

I did not get beyond first base.

I did not do it in her face.

I never did it in a bed.

If you think that, you've been misled.

I did not do it with a groan.

I did not do it on the phone.

I did not cause her dress to stain.

I never boinked Saddam Hussein.

I did not do it with a whip.

I never fondled Linda Tripp.

I never acted really silly

With volunteers like Kathleen Willey.

There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher.

I chased her 'round, but could not catch her.

No kinky stuff, not on your life!

I wouldn't, not even with my wife.

And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes

Was paid for by my right-wing foes.

And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers,

Are just a bunch of party poopers.

I did not ask my friends to lie.

I did not hang them out to dry.

I did not do it last November.

But if I did, I don't remember.

I did not do it in the hall.

I could have, but don't recall.

I never did it in my study.

I never did it with my dog, Buddy.

I never did it to Sox, the cat.

I might have - once - with Arafat.

I never did it in a hurry.

I never groped Ms. Betty Currie.

There was no sex at Arlington.

There was no sex on Air Force One.

I might have copped a little feel

And then endeavored to conceal.

But never did these things so lewd.

At least, not ever in the nude.

These things to which I have confessed,

They do not count, if we stayed dressed.

It never happened with a cigar.

I never dated Mrs. Starr.

I did not know this little sin

Would be retold on CNN.

I broke some rules my Mama taught me,

I tried to hide, but now you've caught me.

But, I implore, I do beseech,

Do not condemn, do not impeach.

I might have got a little tail,

But never, never did I inhale.


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